March 30th, 2018

Chapter sixteen

Connor Lancaster

As many of you know, this guy is special to me and he has been for a long long time. Connor, I can’t help but travel back in my mind to the early morning chats and hidden glances of California when I stare into your face. You are extraordinary. I’m going to spend a little time bragging about how much I love this guy. If all this lovey dovey stuff isn’t your thing, feel free to keep scrollin’ my friend. But if it is, man...allow me to share a few reasons why I think our love story is one that deserves to be told for many many years to come. Connor Lancaster loves me with the power and the strength that I know God, my father in heaven, loves me with. He smiles at me when I say stupid things, speaks my language, and fights for me in the moments when my words just don’t quite make sense. He is so wise. He speaks only when he needs to, and he helps me understand what it’s like to be confident in my faith and my spiritual path. He is his own person, and never completes any task in hopes that it will benefit only him. He is selfless. I believe that God probably smiles down at us when we, his children, do silly things. I know that The Lord holds my hand when I cry and the chemo infested tears roll down my face, just as Connor does here on our temporary home we call Earth. But dang. Connor Lancaster is a beautiful, and small representation to me of what it would be like to be held by The King. To be assured that there was life beyond this place we call home. To know a little glimpse of what standing at the gates of heaven will look like for me one day, and for all of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. We have our struggles, and we’ve also had plenty moments of weakness accompanied with regret. But, through this whole season of friendship and love I have learned that God placed Connor Lancaster in my life for a HUGE reason. & that reason was to be healed and loved with The Lord’s physical hands, through him, until I alas come face to face with God at the pearly white gates of Heaven. In this moment, I would like to give a little shoutout to my friend Cancer. Stupid Cancer. Nobody wanted you and no one will ever want you. But let me tell you, Cancer, you sure put things into perspective. You remind me there is so much more to life than stupid arguments and moments of stubbornness. Now sitting here nearly 3 months later, I will say that I cannot imagine my life without Cancer. & I also cannot imagine my life without Connor. This was God’s plan all along, Connor was God’s plan all along, and Cancer will continue to work miracles in my life for a long time to come.
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So there you have it, my favorite love story. I hope you come to realize that I just talked about two different love stories, and combined them into one to make my own. One being my relationship with Connor Lancaster, that I look forward to growing through every single day, and the other being my relationship with the Lord, as he reveals his love for me through the hardships and the individuals around me. Take a moment to remind yourself that YOU are loved by the CREATOR. THE CREATOR OF ALL THINGS. God loves you every single day that you wake up and for the rest of time. He knows you are the coolest ever. Thank you for allowing me your time, and for letting me share.

What’s your love story? And by ‘love story’ I will always mean a description of the ways you might feel the Lord’s love, just in everyday life or in the moments we pray hardest to feel Him near.

p.s. I plan to blog another post soon with a medical update, but for now I thought a little story would be nice.