January 29th, 2018

Today was a beautiful January day. I found it easy to step outside the doors of Scott & White in Temple and admire the bright blue sky. Little glimpses of the Lord’s presence are encouragement to keep moving forward.

​Welcome to Day 5 of learning a new fact about myself that will forever change my life. I have learned that each day gets easier and harder in its own ways. Easier in a sense that I have grown to share my story with confidence, both on screen and face to face. It has become a little less challenging to talk through my circumstances with those that I am close with, and with a friendly face who simply has questions. One of my biggest worries when I found out I had cancer was whether or not people were going to treat me differently. All I have to say about that, is I have never felt so loved in all my life. Though I can already feel the sad eyes as I walk down the hallway at school, the opinions of others don't seem to affect me in the ways I thought they would. 

In the last 34 hours, I have carried myself into two public places with a nervous stomach and my friends at my side. Sunday morning I walked into my church, first Baptist Georgetown, preparing myself for some tears and many hugs. I was greeted by friends as I stepped off the elevator, and caught a glimpse across the room, of a Poster wall with my name on it. I was completely overcome with emotions as I read over countless messages that had been left for me by the students of my youth group. I've always known that belonging to a community in christ (small groups, mentorships, etc.) is an important aspect of walking with the lord, but never has it been more clear to me than now. I have felt an immense outpouring of his love and unfathomable beauty through the christ centered relationships in my life.

SPEAKING MEDICALLY: TODAY I GOT A PET SCAN TO LOCATE OTHER PLACES IN MY BODY THAT THE CANCER COULD ALSO BE LOCATED, OTHER THAN IN MY NECK WHICH IS ALL WE KNOW FOR NOW. TO BEGIN, MY FINGER WAS PRICKED IN ORDER TO CHECK MY BLOOD SUGAR, THIS WAS SOMETHING I HAD NEVER DONE BEFORE. A LITTLE BACK STORY, 18 YEAR OLD RYLIE HAS COME A LONG WAY WITH SITUATIONS REGARDING NEEDLES. I WAS THAT 12 YEAR OLD KID THEY HAD TO HOLD DOWN FOR SHOTS, DUE TO MY FEAR OF THE "SCARY SHARP THING THAT WAS GOING TO PIERCE MY SKIN". I AM NOW HAPPY TO TELL YOU THAT MULTIPLE IVS LATER, NEEDLES DON'T SEEM TO PHASE ME AT ALL. AFTER GETTING MY FINGER PRICKED, I WAS GIVEN AN IV IN ORDER TO INJECT MY BODY WITH A COMBINATION OF SALINE, AND A SMALL DOSE OF RADIATION FLUID. THIS PROCESS HELPS THE SCANNER TO LOCATE OTHER AREAS OF MY BODY THAT THE CANCER HAS SPREAD TO, DETERMINING MY OFFICIAL STAGE AND WHAT THE NEXT MONTHS OF MY LIFE WILL LOOK LIKE. MY PARENTS AND I WILL LEARN THIS INFORMATION AT ANOTHER APPOINTMENT TOMORROW. I ASK FOR PRAYERS THROUGH THIS PROCESS, AND FOR STRENGTH IN THE LOW POINTS OF MY BATTLE. 
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On the subject of overcoming challenges, today I returned to school for a few periods before heading to temple for my pet scan at scott & white. something wonderful about attending a school with nearly 4,000 students is that some people are aware of my circumstances, and some people aren't. Those who are aware often offer a hug and some kind words, or simply some questions about what all of this means for the future Rylie. Though I am slowly becoming used to being "that girl with cancer", it is never bad to walk down the hallway as the "normal" teenage girl I once was. But, I have decided normal is boring.

​watch out cancer, you messed with the wrong girl.