8/27/2019 23 Comments hello god, it's me rylieI am feeling undeserving. Why do I use this word when my body has been through hell and back in the last month? We take this life for granted. Throughout the last 2 years I have been pushed toward my one clear purpose: to eternally praise His name…in all of my actions. This is wrapped up in every decision I have made, every relationship that has developed, and God I pray, any and every word that has left my lips and entered into the world.
I am thankful and grateful in ways that I never thought were possible. It may sound gruesome to call this a second chance at life, but isn’t that what we are offered when we bow down at His throne and promise to be His hands and feet? We are called to be made New. For the first time in my life I truly do feel made New. I am rawly and purely Rylie. Rylie whose body has been beaten and torn and worked and broken and restored…renewed I should say. The words below are what I believe to be the Lord speaking literally to me for just the second time in my life. No, I could not hear his voice speaking but my fingers moved to form these words and I know they are not my own. To every single one of you who have experienced any kind of relationship with God, these are the things He thinks about you as well. Move some words around and change some experiences to those of your journey, but these are the words that I believe I have finally come to fully understand after living the life I have lived for the last 2 months and the last year and half if I'm being honest. The life I have lived since January 25th of 2018. As I type these words, my hands shake. These hands that I feel have literally been held by the heavenly Father, more times than I can grasp and more times than I deserved. In and out of the hospital, on the grounds of summer camp, in the new mornings, in the tears running down my face. He holds my bald head that I’ve now experienced two times in the prime of my image conscience years 13-21 of age and says, “This head. It is strong. It is powerful and brave. It is hairless and though you think that is wrong and you look in the mirror to question my creation, this is in fact the most beautiful part about you. Why? Because it is the proof of your trial and triumph. It is part of your scars yes, but you have won my child. In moments when you feel you have questions, touch your head. Look at yourself and smile. You have moments of hating this picture of yourself but when I look down at you, I look down and effortlessly smile. I, in a continuation of hallelujahs, look at you and smile. You have fought and you have won. You, my daughter, are so changed. Changed in the best way possible. Death has stared you in the face and you have simply said, no ‘Thank you.’ Do not get me wrong, you have feared and you have questioned and you have worked to understand the meaning of my plan. But I believe you may have finally grasped the meaning of surrender. This huge word. It takes an experience like yours to send you on a journey of surrender. You vocalized to me just two months ago on the grounds of Ozark that you wanted to do just that. You surrender. And my goodness look at the joy you have experienced even amongst the life threatening moments. I have done it again my child, just as I promised all along. Thank you for allowing me to guide you and love you. Even though I will do all of these things through every moment of your life regardless of you mentioning your gratitude for it because that is who I am. I am your creator. Your beginning and end. Everything in-between. Your tears have stopped now and you are smiling. My promises are consistent yet new everyday and I am overjoyed that you truly understand that now. Live for me on Earth in complete surrender. Use your words for good. Your bald head is beautiful from up here. You have been reborn in more ways than one. Never take that for granted. I love you.” -Your Heavenly Father Lord, I hear you. Thank you for making me New. Health update to come later! For those asking, I am doing wonderful and feeling nearly back to normal. Medicine & Miracles, you have given me a tomorrow.
23 Comments
Mike Leeds
8/27/2019 08:08:33 pm
Rylie -- What a joy to finally get your long-awaited update! I am one of your "behind the scenes" prayer warriors who was recruited by Melody Holloway. I was even wearing your tee-shirt this week, praying and waiting for this update. You are an amazing young lady and God is very pleased with your incredible testimony! I hope to actually meet you one day soon to give you a hug and a high five. You go girl!
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Kathy York
1/12/2020 05:44:59 am
So glad for the wonderful update. Always look forward to hear from you. So glad you are feeling almost back to normal. You are so amazing God will use you for many things. Love you Kathy
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Brenda
8/27/2019 08:17:26 pm
I am so happy, especially to read that last part! I'm so glad and grateful that you are doing well and feeling well. You've been in my thoughts.
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Jill Calder
8/27/2019 08:33:41 pm
Rylie, your God inspired words brought me to tears! Hallelujah God has renewed and healed you. Your mother said in a post that it was like watching a miracle when your new cells engrafted. I am thankful to be privileged to pray for you during this journey. I am inspired by you faith and surrender to God. He has used you to speak to many and touch our lives. He has many things planned for your future to bring Him glory! Thank you for being so vulnerable throughout your journey. I will keep the prayers coming, and look forward to hearing how God is working in your life! My love and prayers for His strong warrior, Jill
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8/27/2019 09:11:05 pm
Inspiration to us. Love you and your wonderful family and praying for you all.
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Sharon Foster
8/27/2019 10:49:16 pm
Rylie,
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peyton kilburn
8/27/2019 10:55:04 pm
rylie this gave me chicken bumps all over (that’s what i call huge goosebumps). the ways the Lord is using you is so so so evident, and the way you recognize this is beautiful. you are beautiful. talk about freakin mma fighter- you are one times 109400. but also the beautiful balance of surrender at the same time. this is Jesus. i see Him when i think of you. this is trust and this is joy. glad you are doing well :)
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Suzanne Severide
8/28/2019 04:51:04 am
Rylie..... you are the purest picture of what I would call God’s Master piece...and what a beautiful Master Piece. Thank you for the privilege of allowing us in and praying for you on your journey. God is so faithful and He as you know has big plans for you in this side of heaven!! God bless you sweet girl!! 💚💛
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Chris Gieringer
8/28/2019 05:01:22 am
Remarkable, incredible, inspiring! You are teaching us all along the way and will no doubt be used by God to continue to impact others through your writing, your living, your being, your surrender. I know God will continue to bless you and in turn you will bless many.
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Helen Robinson
8/28/2019 05:14:12 am
What an awesome testimony for our Lord Jesus! Hang in there Rylie, you are such an inspiration to so many!!! Praying for you!
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Lisa Spangenberg
8/28/2019 05:17:26 am
Beautiful, encouraging words that only those who have truly known God in the depths can experience. You are such an encouragement to so many- please keep the encouraging words, pointed to Jesus, coming!
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Jenny Mashburn
8/28/2019 07:23:52 am
So grateful for your story!! You will change the world Rylie!!
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Millie
8/28/2019 07:36:06 am
Rylie, God truly has taken your hand and been with you in every aspect of your journey. (As you know!). I praise God for your healing, the doctors and staff who have been a part of your healing, your parents, family and friends! But, most of all, your inspiration to others and the beautiful words the Holy Spirit has give. You to share with others and to show how God has show you His love throughout this time! You are a blessing, precious lady and inspire me to be closer to Him each day! The Lord has used you in such an enormous way to help and inspire them to stay close to Him! Love, Millie Read
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Michelle Azuara and family
8/28/2019 07:53:27 am
Amen! Sweet Rylie - our hearts rejoice with you and thank God for his loving mercy and grace.
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Marissa @marissaaa16
8/28/2019 10:19:05 am
Thank you for the wonderful update. Your words spoke to me as my body is covered by scars from many surgeries and I have struggled with my body image because of that. Your post brought me comfort in my struggles and I am so happy to see that you are doing well. Praying for complete healing for you.
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Betty Willis
8/28/2019 11:21:17 am
All things work together for good to those who love God. Even the bad. Thank you for being willing to share your journey.
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Diane Jordan
8/28/2019 01:41:40 pm
Rylie, I am a friend of your grandmother’s and I have been following your story for quite some time. Your testimony here is beautiful and so meaningful - for you and everyone of us! You and your family are in my prayers and your faith and story bring me to my knees. There are not enough thank you to God for His goodness, comfort, and faithfulness 🙏🏻! Thank you for sharing and reminding us how blessed we are. You really are beautiful inside and out❣️
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Jennifer Wyble
8/28/2019 07:44:06 pm
Your Hallelujah song came on the radio on my way to work this morning and I thought of you and your story. You inspire those you may not even know to want to inspire others we may not even know all because of your surrender to your experience and allowing God to use your (actually His) words to accomplish his purpose and his plans. Keep fighting your fight and dancing 💃 your dance. You are a work of Art inside and out 🦄 I’ve seen Miracles just happen 🐝❤️
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Martha
8/28/2019 08:13:43 pm
Awesome!!!! Finding the meaning of life / everything. Love you much!!
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Gary Stratton
8/29/2019 12:33:37 am
Thank your for your uplifting words and determination. Thank you for your strength and resolve. And thank you for being such a wonderful example and a blessing to us all. May God continue to bless you as you have blessed us.
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Ann Chenault
8/29/2019 03:01:24 pm
Rylie thank you for expressing those wonderful words God gave you to be shared with all believers! You are an inspiration to us all! Love you much!
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Gary Stratton
1/14/2020 10:25:52 pm
Rylie as a fellow cancer patient, I am in awe of your courage, bravery and grace. I have not been through the pain, suffering and difficulties you have, but I salute you in your determination and bravery going forward. I am thrilled you have come this far and are doing so well. I treasure your words and willingness to share. May God continue to love you and keep you in His warm embrace. Please accept my prayers and love.
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