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4/18/2018 17 Comments

April 18th, 2018

Chapter eighteen 

A while back I promised to write a whole post devoted to the day I was diagnosed. My flip day. My hard-to-breathe, remember-for-the-rest-of-my-life day. In honor of being back in Houston for the eighth time and for finally coming to peace with this chapter of my life, here is my cancer day. The day that would lead me into a new family. A day that would grant me new supporters, new friends, and new soldiers, fighting right alongside me.

So here goes...January 25th, 2018. 4:43 pm.

The day started out like any other day. I woke up that Thursday morning feeling especially high on life. The wednesday night before held many little blessings that the Lord brought me to recognize as I laid in bed before hearing news that would change everything. As I have said before, the week of my diagnosis was a “jesus working” week. but, it wasn’t until that Thursday night that I completely understood why God had wanted so badly for me to feel his presence in the moments that I danced around with friends, laughed in the hallway with a teacher, and stood on stage in front of a congregation of young teenagers as a representation of the Lord’s love for us...even for just a moment.

On the morning of January 25th I headed to school around 8:45 am with my brother Preston, and we parted our separate ways as I went to Choir and he went along to his class. In all honesty, I don’t remember a lot of details about that day other than that I was happy. I wasn’t concerned about my lymph node biopsy and I wasn’t thinking about the pains in my abdomen. I was focused on day 5 of being 18 years old and the importance of stopping to enjoy the pink flowers scattered across from my newly painted parking spot that I had recently finished just about two weeks before. I went to my classes that day and went to lunch with friends. I spent time with my PALS and worried about passing yet another Stat test (raise your hand if this is you at the end of every unit in any class haha). That Thursday was an especially long day at school because it was a day that I didn’t have an off-period, meaning I got out of school at the normal time (4:20pm), instead of on my early off days at 2:30pm. Little did I know, those two extra hours meant my dad beating me home. Those two extra hours meant my parents getting the opportunity to cry in each other’s arms before having to hold me as I sat staring straight ahead. I left school with my windows down, music playing loud, and pulled into my driveway around 4:40pm to see both my parents outside looking oddly uncomfortable and upset. I soon realized as I pulled my car past them that something was wrong. I didn’t know in that moment that it was because of my biopsy results. But as soon as my mom was standing at my car window before I even had the chance to open my door, I knew it was bad. I opened my door to a shaking hand and both my parent’s tear-covered faces. All I remember my mom saying was “you’re going to be okay. we’re going to beat this”. and then the word no one ever wants to hear: “it’s cancer”. the c word. “lymphoma”. Hodgkin’s lymphoma. I couldn’t do anything but stare at my lap and say nothing. Talk about a life changing moment in a matter of seconds. We talked a little more about the details as I sat there and sobbed, verbally expressing my “what the hell” statements of “why me” and “how”.

Mom slowly backed away as my dad explained what it meant to have lymphoma and what the next steps might be for me. I just cried. He asked if I wanted to step out of the car and I’m pretty sure I just sat there for 15 minutes or so. Not being able to move and even process the moment in the first place. When I finally got out of the car I couldn’t walk. It wasn’t even like lymphoma was keeping me from moving. It was the shock of knowing that things would be different, and the feeling of a stomach flipped upside down. I made it into the house eventually and crawled into a corner in our living room as I attempted to process the whole situation. I can honestly say that in that moment we were lost and confused. We had no idea what the next steps would be, but that period of grey did not last long. The next few hours of that night brought overwhelming feelings of love and support. We immediately had people of all ages rallying around us and comforting us. I have never felt so loved.

When I think back to that night I can’t help but be thankful for life and the people who continue to hold me in their arms. When I first got to Texas Children’s, one of my nurses explained that this whole journey would feel like a roller coaster in the beginning. And let me tell you, it was been a scary one. But as I sit here in the exam room on day 8 of my 4th round of chemo, I cannot imagine my friend cancer NOT having come into my life. I can’t imagine having not walked through the gates of my “Cancer Disney World” to get on this roller coaster called Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Believe it or not, I can confidently say that I cannot imagine my life without cancer.

I know that January 25th changed my life forever and I’m dang glad it did.

17 Comments
Grace Sheidow
4/18/2018 01:45:57 pm

Rylie you are so strong and inspire me everyday. You have helped me to see the world in a different way and learn to appreciate all of the little gifts of life. I know that if anyone could beat cancer that it would you. I look forward to reading all of your post and praying for good news. I'm glad that you finally shared the start of your journey. Keep Fighting Girl. In english we had to do a project of a Modern Day. My group and I felt that since you inspire so many people that you would be perfect. We wanted to send you the link if you would like to check it out. (:

https://sites.google.com/student.roundrockisd.org/rylieyork

-Grace Sheidow

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cate
4/18/2018 02:14:21 pm

i’m in awe of you.

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9/1/2018 09:57:59 am

You are such a strong person. If that thing happened on me, I don't think I can face such issue as strong as you did. Sometimes, life is pretty unfair. But there are ways on how we can make it work for us. There's no other option but to accept the situation and deal with it the positive way. That is what you're doing right now, and you are inspiring all of us by your outlook in life. I will be praying for you. This is just a challenge that you will survive anytime soon!

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Nikki Vacca
4/18/2018 02:36:52 pm

just wanted to say that ur blog is incredibly inspiring! i’m in awe at the strength you possess. i’m praying for you every day and can’t wait to see u on campus next year 💚💛

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Kathy York
4/18/2018 03:25:22 pm

Wow love this post. Love your faith love your wonderful Dad and Mom. Gods Blessings. Live you Kathy

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Billie A
4/18/2018 04:07:21 pm

Hello Rye. I hope you are doing well. I bet that day of January 25 was TERRIFYING! You are a amazing,strong,faithful person. You were darn right. Cancer needs to watch out. It messed with the wrong girl!

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Dee Dee
4/18/2018 04:43:15 pm

As always, so proud of your fight, your determination and your faith. You are an incredible inspiration!! We love you Rylie!

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Lauren White
4/18/2018 06:46:53 pm

Love you, dear!! Keep up the fight!!

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Betty Willis link
4/18/2018 06:58:25 pm

Rylie - your name is on my mirror and I pray for you e wry day. God cares. He will continue to work His wonders in you.

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Martha
4/18/2018 07:44:07 pm

Perspective.
Proud of you Rylie Elizabeth.
Praying.
Love you much!

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Kevin Austin
4/19/2018 06:01:18 am

All I can say(though holding back tears for you and your family) is WOW. What strength and faith you exude. You are such an inspiration! God bless you and know I am praying for you and your family.

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Tamara Shaughnessy
4/19/2018 04:46:27 pm

Your message is so inspiring. Your are an amazing child of GOD and enjoy you sharing. KEEP Up the good fight!

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Pop Pop
4/19/2018 10:39:59 pm

So good to see you today.....you look absolutely wonderful. Your courage and continued expression of your faith is amazing to all of us....God is so good...love you.

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Jim & Sharon Silver
4/20/2018 08:26:58 am

One more treatment to go! It must feel wonderful to be so close to last round of chemo! Hang in there and keep the faith young lady! Your blog is absolutely inspirational! We think you have a possible best seller book on your hands!
We are so proud of you! You are proof that through faith in Christ, things are possible you could never have even imagined! God bless you Rylie. Via con Dias.

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Kevin
5/4/2018 08:30:02 am

Continuing to pray for you and your family.

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Kristin Elder & Family
5/5/2018 08:18:07 pm

We love you all very much. Rylie - you are so very strong. inspirational and lovely. We send our prayers and love from NM to you, and your family. You are vibrant and filled with life, love, and strength --- from yourself, those that love you, and the Lord.

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2/28/2020 04:53:01 am

This is where the big points are and the most effective game!
If you combine 5 tiles, you get a rocket that can be released to clear a row or column.

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